endless barrage of annoying questions July 21 2015

The annoying questions that other people ask you throughout your adult life are, well... annoying. Once you reach, say, the age of 23 or so (or younger if you don't attend college) people start with the annoying questions about your life plans. The questions usually run in stages; according to the different stages of your life. We have all heard them, and I think women get them a lot more than men do. But men, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. 

QUESTION #1: So, when are you getting married?
Ummm, I don't know. Why don't you let me find a boyfriend that I actually LIKE first and who wants to marry me. More importantly, let me actually be involved in a relationship for awhile with a guy who ISN'T totally freaked out by the idea of getting married. Overbearing aunts, grandmothers, or office-coworkers constant nagging on the topic doesn't exactly help my cause. Why are other people so concerned with when YOU will get married anyway? It is as if they want and need for everyone else to do what THEY did; and if you don't, there is clearly something wrong with you. How do you tell people that you simply haven't met your future husband yet??!

But let's say you have met your future husband and are actually married...on to annoying QUESTION #2: Soooo, when are you gonna have kids?

Okay, this is quite possibly the most annoying of all the annoying questions. First of all; again, these people don't give you much time at all to get used to the idea of being married. In fact, some of them even start in with this line of questioning before the actual wedding. Or at the wedding events. Or a week after the wedding. I don't mind it so much when it is family asking; because at least they know me. What I hate is when it is some co-worker, who I barely know or talk to, wants to know when I am having children and how many and why? And why do people assume that everyone on Earth is planning on having kids anyway? What if I don't want them, or what if I'm unable to have children? I just think this line of questioning is a bit too personal for someone I am only acquaintances with. 

Now, if a few years go by, and you don't end up having kids; then Question #2 will continue until the end of time. If however, you DO have a child; then you would think the questions would stop, right? NO! They don't. They never stop. Then people start in with, "Soooo, will you be having more kids? How many? When? A little brother or sister for baby Lucas to play with? Awwww."

Since I did have another boy the next most annoying question would have to be so when are you going for the girl/are you going to have a 3rd child??

I hate that some people think that because I have two kids of the same sex then my family is incomplete. It's ridiculous. I love my boys and love the bond between them more than anything. I know if my second was a girl I would love her the same, but I don't think their bond would be the same. All I wanted growing up was a sister...someone to share clothes with (or fight about) and I am so happy I get to witness the special bond amongst brothers. It really is special. And although a selfish part of me would want a little girl to dress up and paint her nails pretty in pink, who's to say she would like that or even let me after the age of 5??! So you can't really base having a third child simply to try for a different gender...you really have to be prepared to have a third child, boy or girl...or even the possibility of having twins!! 

-Melina Harvey Read (mama of two)